It’s a pretty harsh assessment, but director Terence Davies (Distant Voices, Still Lives), has told the Irish Times that, “Being gay has ruined my life”. In an interview ahead of the release of his first movie in ten years, the Rachel Wiesz starring Deep Blue Sea, he touched upon his sexuality and didn’t give it a particularly good assessment.
He says, “I hate it [being gay]. I’ll go to my grave hating it. Which is why I have been celibate. One-night stands are not for me. I was not good looking. I did not have a good body. Nobody was interested when I was young. Now I am old. I am still not good looking. I know what I am. I will always loathe it. It has killed part of my soul.”
Davies was born in 1945 and so grew up during a time when homosexual behaviour was illegal. While you’d have hoped he’d have managed to enjoy the days of gay liberation through the 70s and 80s, it seems he, like many older men, has never truly come to terms with his sexuality.
He says that once after a screening of his 1983 work, The Terence Davies Trilogy, a man complained that its bleak view of gay life was excessive. “It was the only time I’ve been rude in those situations. I said: ‘Sit down! How dare you say that? You’re good looking. You don’t know what it’s like to grow up in a time and place where homosexuality was illegal. Sit down!’”
It’s certainly interesting how much he links being happy with your sexuality with being good looking.
However he’s decided he hates being gay and that nothing is going to change that. Indeed he seems to have little desire to come to terms with it. It’s a great shame though, especially as he also says, “Well, most of the time I put a front on. I like a good laugh. I have a good sense of humour. But I am very lonely. Very lonely indeed.”