If ever a movie was made where gratuitous sex and nudity almost seems called for (which I suppose would mean it wouldn’t be gratuitous) it’s 50 Shades Of Grey. After all, while many people insist they read all three books for the story, the copious amounts of explicitly detailed BDSM sex in the novels are what they’re best known for.

For the more prurient among us it seemed good news when Jamie Dornan was cast as Christian Grey, as his background in modelling has involved a fair bit of nudity. However it now seems any dreams we had of seeing Little Jamie in the movie will have to remain dreams.

Talking to The Guardian, Dornan says, “There were contracts in place that said that viewers wouldn’t be seeing my, um….”

When prompted with the Brits slang for penis, ‘todger’, Dornan finished, “Yeah, my todger.”

And to the disappointment of some, he adds, “You want to appeal to as wide an audience as possible without grossing them out. You don’t want to make something gratuitous and ugly and graphic.”

In some ways it seems an odd way to go with a film based on something that is infamous for being gratuitous and ugly and graphic, however it was almost inevitable. Even without a ‘no penis’ contract in place, it’s likely the studio would have tried to hide Dornan’s assets.

In order to be able to advertise the film and get it in mainstream cinemas, Universal needs it to be rated ‘R’ in the US, and while you can have nearly as much gross violence as you like at that certificate, the sight of a penis, especially in a sexual situation, immediately pushes a film towards the commercial suicide of an ‘NC-17’ certificate. While they could probably get away with some penis, it certainly makes it easier with the US ratings system to hide it.

It does leave us with the irony though that in the same interview Dornan describes himself as a feminist who wanted to ensure none of the sex came across as non-consensual or as violence against women. However he’s locked into a sexist ratings system where the overt sexualisation of women – whether involving violence or not – is far more acceptable and tolerated than that of men.

However if seeing Dornan’s penis is important to you, there are images out there from his modelling days if you want to go and find them.