Since 1977 people have been making sexual jokes about lightsabres, and calling masturbation a Han Solo. Well, maybe they haven’t been doing the last thing, but lightsabres as penis jokes have been doing strong for 38 years, and now they’re heading into hyperdrive as Star Wars is getting an xxx gay porn parody, which men.com plans to release on Christmas Day. Yep, it’s the Christmas present everyone has been waiting.
According to the trailer for the four-part series, it turns out that in a galaxy far, far, away the rebels fighting the evil empire had to stop every few seconds for guys to get down and dirty. It does explain why it was ultimately the ewoks that had to destroy the bad guys, as Luke, Obi-Wan, Han Solo and the Stormtroopers were so busy banging one another there wasn’t much time left for anything else.
And the question everyone has been asking for decades is finally answered – yes, Darth Vader was uncircumcised.
If you want a taste for Star Wars as gay porn, take a look at the relatively safe for work promo below. And if you’re wondering how they can get around trademark rules and make a film like this, it’s due to the fact that in the US both porn and parody are legally protected under the First Amendment, resulting in the odd situation where a hardcore porn Star Wars is more legally sound than a heartfelt fan film. But hey, it’s left us with something very strange it’s oddly difficult not to want to see.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5o3YC1xlEXU
And if that wasn’t rude enough for you, a more full-on trailer is available here.
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