Puss In Boots (Cinema)

Starring: Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Zach Galifianakis, Billy Bob Thornton
Director: Chris Miller
Running Time: 90 mins
Certificate: U
Release Date: December 9th, 2011

Shrek spin-off Puss In Boots has already had quite a lot of good reviews in the US, but it’s just the latest attempt by the liberal left in Hollywood to indoctrinate kids. Everyone knows that the natural state of cats is not to be in boots, but Dreamworks Animation and its media colleagues keep presenting this perversion of nature to us as if it’s something we should treat as normal. Not content with using the Shrek movies to warp young minds into thinking that cats in footwear are the equal of regular unshod felines, now they’re giving Puss In Boots a whole movie to himself!

It’s just plain wrong. It’s bound to cause children to start asking awkward questions about why Puss is wearing boots. It should be a parent’s decision how and when to broach such thorny subjects, not forced upon them by the all-powerful pro-shoes-for-cats agenda. Indeed it’s gotten to the point where right thinking people are afraid to stand up for what’s right and openly say Puss shouldn’t wear boots!

Worst of all is that Dreamworks Animation has spent so much effort to make the movie entertaining, so that kids won’t even realise they’re being brainwashed into thinking Puss’ ‘lifestyle choice’ is okay (after all, God made Cats & Dogs, not Cats in Uggs).

A prequel to the Shrek movies, the film tries to force us to believe that perhaps cats might have a penchant for shoes from an early age (rather than the truth, which is that Puss must have had his mind warped by other boot-wearing felines).

Puss starts out in an orphanage in Mexico, where he become friends (very, very, very, very platonic friends, of course) with Humpty Dumpty. However Humpty is a rather unreliable fellow, and while they start out as a bit of an outlaw duo, he and Puss eventually go their own ways.

Years later Humpty tracks Puss down and persuades him to join in a European quest to steal the magic beans of Jack & The Beanstalk fame and seize a golden egg from the ogre’s castle in the clouds. This brings Puss into contact with the fiery temptress Kitty Softpaws (Salma Hayek) and the criminal wrong ‘uns, Jack & Jill.

The film isn’t perfect, with a tendency to pack a lot incident and japes into a lean running time at the expense of an overall satisfying narrative. How there are a lot of good jokes, Antonio Banderas appears to be having great fun as Puss and the visual style of the movie is extremely good, giving the whole thing a spaghetti western vibe. Like the Shrek movies, there’s plenty to keep the adults happy, which of course will give them extra reason to allow their kids to be brainwashed by the disgusting idea of cats who refuse to keep their boot-wearing tendencies behind closed doors.

The tragic thing about the movie is that adults and children will come out thinking they’ve just had a nice time and enjoyed all the 3D visuals of a film that’s not perfect but is a whole lot of fun, without realising the brain washing perversion they’ve been subjected to. I just think it’s shame that with Hollywood so desperate to push its own perverted agenda, there won’t be a more righteous movie soon called ‘Puss who feels nauseous about the idea of wearing boots and is preaching God’s message against the disgusting idea that some cats might like to wear boots and there’s nothing wrong with that’.

Overall Verdict: Light frothy fun that keeps up a fast pace, with plenty of jokes and great visuals. It’s just a tragedy it insists on suggesting it’s okay for cats to wear boots.

Reviewer: Jake Davis